Monthly Archives: February 2012

Perpetual creation? part 3 survival


Chiricahua Apache, Hattie Tom

Chiricahua Apache, Hattie Tom (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


When someone uses the word survival, it’s many times tied to images of living off the land, roughing it, bear grilles getting dropped from a helicopter, or some fool tripping over himself in the woods.


The survival I’m going to discuss, is the root of the word. Basically, to keep the body alive.


In part 3 I discussed life, and rezinate brought some really interesting perspectives which taught me a lot, I hope they do the same for any who read this. The part 4 will hopefully put this into more perspective.


In part one I talked about the mind/heart/body connection, and how one thrives or dies depending on the other two. I talked about fuel, and hopefully this part will put that into perspective a little more.


Survival, meaning to keep the body alive. Think about that for a minute and ask yourself, what does that truly and fully mean?


A person in a coma, that never recovers, the body forced to keep working through machines, that is survival. Old ones that have machines put into their bodies to keep it from failing, but in turn lose their freedom due to being tied to those machines, that is survival.


A serial killer, kept alive with no remorse, no caring for another person, that is survival.


I began thinking about what this truly meant when I read the story of massai, a Chiricahua warrior arrested with geronimo. His story can be read here, and I would ask that you do so before you finish reading this.


So many Americans I have talked to speak of how they want a life, they don’t have a life, they’re stuck. When life is all around them and they never see it, because they are only surviving.


Medical science loves to beat its chest about how there have been so many advances that life expectancy has been greatly extended. I say according to whom? If you are using the 28 year life expectancy of the roman empire, than sure. But is it really living or only surviving?


If corn only grew from a kernel, grew tall, and died, never having provided food, is that living, or merely sustaining it’s body? To provide bodily fuel is its role in the circle, maybe we are here to provide a different kind of fuel.


To see a child so full of life, slowly but surely dim, becoming a flame less candle, is that living?


To sit in front of a television and ignore the laughter of the child you provided the seed for, or the woman you planted the seed in, is that living, or merely sustaining the body?


And what does that sustaining only the body do to our hearts and minds?


We see so many young ones centered around the next app, the next twitter, the next Facebook post. So many complain about how little they know. Whose fault is that? Who was the one that sat in front of the television watching football, and putting them in front of their favorite cartoon just to get some “peace”? What do you think that taught them?


Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and nothing inbetween.


What struck me like a ton of bricks, as I saw some of massai in myself, was the detachment from society. Another thing that touched my heart so deeply, that it still brings tears, is that as bad and as “wild” as this former man was, he was still able to be brought back to some normalcy by a woman.


This woman, Natastale, a white mountain apache woman, was abused terribly by massai, yet still had the strength of self to be a woman, and in time, save herself, by bringing the human back out of massai, if only in short intervals.


It struck me so very strongly, and reminded me of many experiences. I realized, for men, society, but more importantly, and I think most importantly, the difference between survival and living, stems from a good woman. Be it a mother, grandmother, sister, friend, wife. They are as rezinate said, our unehlanvhi. What brings light to our darkness. What separates tribes from savages. They are our civility.


When we do not respect them, dominate them, attempt the change them, silence them, abuse them, ignore them, we men become just as savage as massai.


Natastale is a credit to her people, and I feel a lesson for women today, that so many bad things can happen, yet if they remain true to who they are, there is a great strength and power inside them.


But also a lesson for men, that we are nothing but savages attempting to survive without our good women.




My sister and mother told me stories of a childhood I can’t remember most of. They told me of a father that did not beat me because my mother provoked him when she saw the anger coming, and would lay on the floor bloodied and broken to save her children. My sister saw the same and would step between me and my father and pull his anger onto her to be beat instead of me. She said she was used to it, and I was so tender hearted she could not bear to see me hurt like she had been.


I am crying as I write this because if the pain in my heart from the actions of my father, but also for the love of a mother and sister who would disregard their own safety to protect the little ones. These women are my personal heroes. They are the women warriors I use as an example of strength, determination, fearlessness.


They took the pain for me so I would not just survive, but stay living with a strong spirit. Later in life I returned the favor as best as I could. But more than that, I learned that a person cannot overcome great suffering alone. The great suffering brings us down, we need others to bring us up, to give a hand to help us climb out of the hole. But once out of the hole, we must stand on our own feet.


By the time I was 10 years old, I was fed up with something I still cannot fully recall. I recall bullies at school and on the bus that my sister stood up to. I recall her scratching a teenage boy in the face and nearly blinding him because he touched her where he shouldn’t have. I recall her beating a boy that was abusing me so badly he had to stay home from school for days. Some would say she went overboard. I say she reacted to a situation she was fed up with. But she never hurt an innocent. She fought against abuse, and protected the innocent.


I learned from her and my mother and at 10 stood in front of a boy younger than me to protect him from my father. I do not know what I did other than speaking, but I remember from then on and my father did not hurt anyone in my presence again. I remember the look look of shock and fear on my fathers face. I remember saying “don’t ever touch him again” and I put all the strength of my little spirit into those words.


There is a reason we make tribes, tell stories, group together. It isn’t just for protection we group together, it is also for living. Like when my mother and sister protected me, they did so in order for who I was to more than survive, but stay living.


It’s far to easy to take a life, it’s much harder to take suffering onto yourself to protect others. But ones like my mother and sister do so without thinking. I learned that from them, and I continue it, and others learn from me.


For me that protection teaching came from my mother, for her she says it came from her grandmother, and for her it was from her father.


My mother has taught many women to be strong inside to stand up for themselves and others. I try to carry that on, and teach men to use their strength to protect. No man should give his woman no choice other than to take a beating to protect her little ones.


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It’s a thing that tears at the heart indeed.


(via Karl Newbury)

“While newspapers and television talk about the lives of celebrities, the chief of the Kayapo tribe received the worst news of his life:

Brazil’s President Dilma Rousseff makes her mark  and has given approval to build a huge hydroelectric plant (the third largest in the world).

It is the death sentence for all the people near the river because the dam will flood 400,000 hectares of forest.

More than 40,000 Indians will have to find another place to live. The natural habitat destruction, deforestation and the disappearance of many species is a fact.”

What moves me , what breaks my heart, what is making me ashamed of being part of Western culture, is the reaction of the chief of the Kayapo community when he learned of the decision—his gesture of dignity and helplessness before the advance of capitalist progress, modern predatory civilization that does not respect ANYTHING.

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Perpetual creation? Part 2 life


In part one energy, I spoke of languages. I wanted to start this part off expanding on that just a bit. As there may be some if not many who are wondering if this is true.

The mind and heart speak in the same fashion your mouth does. If you are excited in a certain way, you get louder, be it angry, surprised, joyful, etc. The faster your energy pulses, the louder you get. The same is true with the mind and heart, they are connected remember?

Have you ever felt like “someone” was thinking about you? They were, and that’s communication. It’s not some mystical thing, some magic, it’s a communication, just like speaking. And just like we learn to speak our languages when we are very young, we also don’t learn to speak languages.

We all experience this to one degree or another. Most I have known, just get the hints here or there like someone is thinking of them, some hear a little more, but hide from it because they think it might be the beginning of schizophrenia. Others, like me, hear it so clearly when they are young they learn that it is something that cannot be mistaken. If they are also like me, they learn that others don’t accept this, or understand it, and try to put it in a “safe” place for them. Years ago it was insuline and electric shock, now it’s heavy medication and institutions. Luckily, I learned early that this was so, and figured out ways to hide it. Though at times, I would slip, and ask someone what they said. It is becoming something of a new age fad to tout the psychics, speaking with the other world and such, and so it is not so feared as it once was. But because of those very same things, it is becoming distorted and misunderstood. Leading people to be tricked. A toy of con artists to rake in the dough. Pitiful really when it began by people trying to understand a natural form of communication.

When you are angry, and you allow that emotion to flow freely, and you allow your thoughts to flow freely along with the emotion, leading from one reason to another for you to stay angry, the longer you are in this excited state, the harder it is to keep your voice down. Think about an angry child and how they will stomp out of a room. They are speaking with their feet instead of their mouths, but they are still shouting. Or when someone slams a door, same difference.

In my experience the heart will almost always shout first, then the mind, then the body.

The calmer you are, the gentler, kinder, more peaceful you are, the quieter you are. There are some I hardly ever hear.Two Elders I know by proxy come to mind.

So for those of you out there worried about your privacy, calm down, keep yourself peaceful and you won’t shout anymore.

Now, to the focus of this part. Life. Germanic origin meaning body.

What is life? Is it something that breaths, eats, dies, feels, laughs, cries? What about spirits? Are they alive? If so, then what is life? If not, then what are they?

Life for me goes beyond a living organism as it’s understood in main stream society. To me, wind is living, water is living, rocks are living, the sun is living, the earth is living.

Compared to us, how small are the bacteria in our intestines, the mites that eat our dead skin? Compared to the earth, how small are we? Compared to our galaxy, how small is the earth? Compared to the universe, how small is our galaxy? I’d really like to see a comparison ratio with that context.

If you consider the earth as a living being, and consider from her perspective, we are micro organisms. Kinda like skin mites. And if you are like a skin mite, how gross is a skin mite? If a skin mite is gross, how gross are you? Think about it.

Think about this, when the temperature outside our bodies gets to a certain degree, we sweat. Tiny drops of liquid come to our surface, and evaporate. When the sun raises the temperature of the air, what does the earth do? Tiny drops of liquid come to the surface and evaporate.

Life comes in all shapes and sizes, each has it’s place, each has a role to play, and each has a place it’s supposed to live to maintain a balance.

Vegitarians will say they will not eat meat because they don’t want to kill to eat. I have never understood this. From what I see corn kernels are seeds, planted in the mother will grow old and die of old age, unless they are killed before their time. Could be floods, hurricanes, tornados, raccoons, worms, or humans. I see no difference in the cycle of a human.

Let me explain a bit. What does corn eat? Nutrients from the soil right? How do those get there? Something dies right? Well it could be worm poop. So go a few steps, For corn to live, something has to die, then decay, and spread nutrients into the soil. How many of our grandparents ate crops fertilized by battlefields? A farmer in Tennessee was plowing a field and came upon a burial ground, his family ate crops from ground fertilized by my ancestors.

People eat frogs, frogs eat flies, among other things flies hatch from dead bodies. No doubt death is a part of life. Death begins a circle that allows life to exist. But without the beginning of life, there would be no death.

Take the cicadas that every seven years come out of the ground only to lay their eggs in the tree, and die. A closed circle? To me yes and no. If the cicada lays eggs in the tree, how do the eggs get into the ground? I’m pretty sure they work out of the tree like splinters work out of our skin. When they die they fertilize the tree, paying it back for protecting their eggs, and seeding them to make a new generation. But the tree is not the only thing that eats the cicada, everything from turtles to squirrels eat them, so the cicadas become part of all those other circles. So what do cicadas eat? This i dont know, but would love insight on this if someone would be so kind.

If they fall from the tree to the ground, how do they get underground? The tree drops its leaves every year, fungus eats the leaves, makes mulch along with bark etc. etc. beetles eat the mulch, as do grubs, etc. etc. they poop, it mixes with dust from broken down rocks, carried in by a flood maybe? Squirrels dig for nuts, armadillos, raccoons, birds, etc. etc. more mulch, so on and so on, for seven years, then the circle starts again. How many of the eggs are eaten by woodpeckers, who looking for nesting, push the protected eggs that were pushed out of the tree, into the dirt? One life cycle in making new life, and dying, effects and is a part of every other cycle around it. Wheels within, connecting, and turning other wheels, that turn the wheel that turned them, and others, so on and so on. And all of this around one tree, that is a tiny hair on a world, that is a child to a sun, that is a tiny dot in a galaxy, that is a tiny speck in a universe.


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Perpetual creation? Part 1 energy


Another discussion a brother and I were having, where I shared my view of creation as perpetual motion in an open system.

I know it sounds like I was trying to use science to base my viewpoint, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth, I only used perpetual motion as a description for a larger picture.

To clarify, I’m using the definition of perpetual motion in the context of both and neither definitions.

Basically an open system that sustains itself, but also a transfer of energy in and out as to seem endless or continual to a certain perspective, that actually is continual. If you are lost already, I’m not surprised, and I will try to explain in a way that makes sense to others.

Do you consider the only fuel for your life the food you eat, if so, why?

Everything has a limited amount of energy, and to continue operation, we need to introduce fuel, for the body that is food, but what about the heart, or the mind?

Everything is connected is some way, why would we exclude the heart/mind/body from that connection?

They are in fact so connected as to effect the function of the other. The heart depressed will bring the mind and body down with it. The mind worried will make the heart fear, and the body shake. So on and so on, one always effects the other.

If you break down the body to the very “building blocks” it is energy.

So what is the mind, and the heart? This I do not know in a way I can describe, but I will try and share what I see.

The mind can be shared, so can the heart, telepathy and empathy are the words used today.

Tele pathy from the Greek meaning, Far off suffering or feeling, not really accurate to say “mental communication” is it? But it is interesting to wonder if the Greeks considered emotions to come from the mind.

Em pathy From the Greek meaning inside suffering or feeling. So maybe they didn’t think emotions came from the mind, now I’m confused.

Anyway, mind language, and heart language, we’ll go with that for the sake of clarity.

In my experience few people realize just how much everyone talks with their mind and their heart.

We recognize body language, why not heart and mind language?

From my experience people get worried, and feel violated when they realize they transmit their thoughts.

My experience also shows me that if everyone heard the heart language, they would break. The enormity of the suffering, darkness, rudeness, etc. that is ever increasing is a heavy weight to carry all the time. Most people don’t want to recognize this now, and they surely wouldn’t want to feel all of it.

But enough of that tangent, back to languages. The mind, heart and body “speak” to each other constantly. They are one of a whole, no matter how much we may try and suppress one or the other.

In this “speaking” energy is shared, if you have ever seen the old Celtic trinity, it’s like that, ever flowing. This symbol is much older than the Christianity that adopted it to assimilate, and it is rooted in every white person from that land.


My people, and many other first nations, use the medicine wheel, I will not say all, because I do not know that for sure.


We see four, celtics saw three, but there is a shared knowledge of the mind heart body between the two.

Anyway, this sharing of language and energy, is not limited to what makes up humans. This same circle is in all life, formed different ways for the place in the circle, but it is still there.

A tree speaks in these, as does the bird that lives in it, or the rabbit that makes the home in its roots, or the grass that grows at it’s feet, or the mother it sets it’s roots into. All speak these three languages, besides their own particular language.

Everything we interact with shares this language with us, and we with it.

Selective hearing is a perfect description of what I see. A man that does not respect his woman, will not give her his ear, and listen to her when she needs to talk through what is troubling her. The exact same thing has happened between humans and all the nations around us. For some they still respect, and they still listen, but the full communication has been forgotten over time.

We Cherokee have stories that include lines of long ago when the animals spoke with us. This is not a myth, a fantasy story, or just a story to entertain children. It is a story to remind us of what was, how we lost this I don’t know, someone might, but I don’t.

Anyway, this language is an energy, like our voice travels on waves of sound, so do these languages travel on waves of other forms of energy.

As far as my understanding goes, there are multiple layers overlapping each other that we exist in. The mind would be one, the heart another, the body another, yet another is life.

The best analogy for this I have seen so far, is sunlight shining through glass, crystal, diamond, water, the atmosphere, etc. Where the light containing many waves of light is separated into different colors. A door to a house with designs and beveled glass will throw rainbows for example. We see the sunlight as a whole, not all the different colors. But the sunlight shines in all these colors at once to our eyes, and we do not see the layers of light separated. For some reason I’m like a prism.


I don’t know another way to describe this, but there is a “balance energy” that flows into, through, around, all things. Life and death flow intermingled within this. So do masculine and feminine. Positive and negative.

This flows through us, and within us is a “circle with two halves” positive and negative. When we are happy or angry, we produce and access this balance energy. Whichever we take into our heart, we share with others, happy or angry. It flows into us like a river, and out like “liquid spheres”.

Everything feels and reacts to these spheres we send out. Watch a child when you are angry, but silent, an animal when you are afraid or willing to kill, all around you when you are filled with peace.

The environment around you isn’t dependent on actions alone, but thoughts, and feelings.

When I lay on a grassy hill, close my eyes, let my body relax into the grass, forget the rocks that I am laying on, listen to the wind flowing through the blades of grass, the birds in the trees, I find a calm.

When I keep this going, I focus on the peaceful feeling inside me, I let all the troubles, worries, stress, noises, go away.

When you calm yourself, find that peace in your own heart, and let it become all you are, these languages begin to get loud enough you can hear.

I thank the grass for its softness, the wind for its gentle touch, the birds for their beautiful songs, and I thank creator for making it all.

Here is a link to one story of long ago and languages.
It cannot become a contest, something to win, or an achievement. You cannot worry about not doing it right, you cannot try to hear these things.

The only way that has ever worked for me, is to not think about it, not try to do anything, just let the peace flow through me. Appreciate the place I am in, and the beauty in nature around me.


These two are sine waves. Sound, ripples on a pond, follow this pattern, but also so does the atmosphere.



This, is a diagram of air flows and currents around the earth. Imagine a coil like the one below running north to south around the earth. See the dots and Xs on the coil? Put them alternately in line and compare them to this diagram, and you can see one circle turning the other.


This is a magnetic field around a coil. Notice the circular fields at the curves of the coil. Stretch this coil out, to look more like a sine wave, less compressed basically.


This diagram shows more detail about the circular nature of the atmosphere. Which is easily evident simply by watching clouds and paying attention to winds.


This is a diagram of a hurricane, notice the same circular pattern in the clouds, that was described in the earth diagram, third from the top.


This is a diagram of the Parker spiral the magnetic field of the sun produces. Consider this same process conceptually coming from the earth, making waves of energy resulting in the alternating circular winds in the third diagram.


This is an artist rendering of our galaxy. I often wonder about these “glowing center” renderings, if we can see stars so far away, how is it we never see this glowing center? I used this to show the placement of the earth, but also to show the arms of the galaxy. Compare this rendering to the diagram of the hurricane, and remember how the winds turn.


This shows the solar plane in relation to the galactic plane. Notice it is nearly 90 degrees. As the spiral arm of the galaxy turn, just like in a hurricane, it carries the earth around with it, and the circular nature of the galaxy being just like that of a hurricane, sets the planets spinning.

When I began to learn about this energy I see and feel, I was taught to track it. How and where it began, when it changed, how it was the same and different than other things in creation.

I’ve already said energy for the body comes from the food we eat, and that was the first example I was taught. To understand how something tangible for everyone worked, it would help me to understand the things selective to me.

More on this in living…

Just like our bodies have an energy, so do plants and animals. When we eat these things, we also consume an energy. We know about the nutrients, but few know about the energy consumed also.

If what we eat is corrupted, be it pesticides, genetic restructuring, various chemicals from the water, the plant or animal is in turn corrupted, and the nutrients and energy we eat are in turn corrupted.

Corrupting the body weakens it, allowing diseases that would normally be dealt with to take hold. It also lowers our tolerance of the mind and heart. We become more impatient, less flexible, less adaptable, quicker to anger, slower to compassion.

Those are also an energy produced. Our bodily fuel and fitness depends on how well the energy from the mind and heart are transmitted. In electronics, if you have poor quality parts the transmissions and receptions will be degraded. It is the same basic concept in the body, it is simply a living technology, instead of one built of dead separated and transformed things.

Fire flickers at a certain frequency depending on its fuel. An experiment was done at stone henge and another at a stone henge replica in Washington, testing the effects of drums reverberating within the stone enclosure.

It is known that a steady tone repeated will effect the beat of our heart. It is also known that sound waves at a certain frequency change the wave patterns in our brains.

It is known that alpha waves at certain frequencies alter what we perceive. That certain people who have claimed certain extra senses have varied wave patterns in their brains.

Plug up an AC adapter to a wall plug but leave it detached from a charging source, can you hear the high pitched whine coming from it?

It is known that electricity generating stations emit an electro magnetic field at such strength that it can cause “hallucinations”.

What do you think the blanket of electro-magnetic energy caused by all the electricity we produce causes?

I have read about chakras, acupuncture, and the like. I have experienced acupuncture and it works, though I knew it would if done properly, as I see the energy points they describe, and know a bit about how they work.

I see “fire spots” in the bodies energy system, and I see them elsewhere some seem to be described much like the chakras are, but I will not use those terms because I do not follow that way, and have no idea of their teachings and what they mean. So I will call it like I see it.

Fire spots I guess could also be described as sun spots, as they are round, very bright, and warm. I call them fire spots because you can look at some fire, depending on the intensity, of course the sun is fire, so it’s a bit of apples and oranges.

Also because when a person is weak, they resemble embers or coals. The sun as we see it, only sets and comes again. That weakness can come from many sources. Stress, diet, lack of enough fuel, among a few.

Like a fire, when the fuel is used up, the fire dies. But if fuel is continually added, the fire will stay lit. Or like a storm, fuel or lack of fuel.

This is an ultraviolet picture of spicules swaying in alfvenic waves on the sun.

Notice the similarities between these two?

If one of these eruptions caused a small mass of liquid from the sun (about the size of the earth there) to separate, and it being liquid made a sphere in space as liquid does, then as it distanced itself from the sun it cooled, a crust would be made on the outside.

Notice the similarities in magnetic fields?


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Contra Conceptio

Contra Conceptio, protegere/ against the act of becoming pregnant with a child, to cover in front/ contraception, protection.

Latin root/ literal translation/ current usage.

A brother and I were having a discussion about various things, this was a part of it, but also quite a few branches off of it, and it got me thinking in my own special way.

Female wolverines will not mate if there is not enough food in their territory.

When good men and women protect, they protect from all angles.

To love little ones and respect life is to enjoy conception, not the sexual act, the creating of life.

To look at sex only as pleasure, is to forget what it’s for, and to focus on yourself, to be self centered.

Life begins at conception. I will not discuss how I know this, but there is no doubt for me it is so.

Abstinence from sex does not mean to deprive yourself.

The energy stored in the sexual organs used to create life, can be used in other ways. Just like we discussed in the anger blog.

This creation energy can be used to make art, help plants grow, heal the earth, and your fellow humans. I know this sounds “new agey” but it’s true. It all depends on your focus. I stumbled onto this realization, I did not try to make it happen. I simply did not want to be a slave to that sexual urge anymore, I learned the environmental triggers in movies and shows I was watching, and eliminated them, and the only thing left was the cycle I had put my body into. I saw and felt the damage done to the earth and felt compassion for our mother, and that energy just moved to her. I changed my focus from self gratification, to compassion.

Medical science teaches a period of ovulation, directly related to the body. Are there other periods of ovulation you can tune to? And no, I don’t mean planets, stars, or any of that.

Why do Americans view bringing a life into this world as a negative they need to protect against?

Why is the majority of the American mind set focused on contra Conceptio? As I asked in another blog, where are your roots?

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