Of all the things working against the people no matter what nation, one of the major things, is fear.
As a boy things happened to me that made me learn how to deal with fear. I had to learn how to overcome it, not just continually fight it, but how to not allow it to appear in the first place.
Growing up knowing this, I saw in others how their fear will effect them. Even I, having learned so much early on, continually saw things that brought an irrational fear. It taught me that no matter how much you know, you will always encounter new things.
As I began dating not knowing how to be good around women, as in respect for them, learning about them, seeing they are different and learning to accept that, and not understanding that seemingly good people can do hurtful things and not fully realize it, I got burned by women, trying to learn, understand, figure out how I was supposed to act, and find a woman that matched me.
I realize now that I hurt the women as much as they hurt me at times, and just as I did not mean to hurt them, many times they did not mean to hurt me.
But this hurt built a larger and more extensive “fortress” to protect me from getting hurt. Realizing this in myself I could see this in the women I had dated.
This defense led to a fear, that fear led to making up problems. Seeing troubles where none existed, seeing hurtful actions when she made an innocent mistake.
Holding onto these hurts, stresses, etc., was described to me as carrying stones. More weight added to you than you need to carry. It is a very accurate description.
But relationships are just one small aspect. Protecting is another aspect. Growing up I would see others, or get into situations myself that taught me what the laws were, I would also read up on the laws as best as I could understand for the particular place I was living at the time.
In learning these laws, and trying to conform to them, I came to understand that they are extremely restrictive for those that follow the law, yet extremely lenient for those that break the law.
Talking to men and women, I could see their non-confidence in the law protecting them and their families. I could see in myself as well as others, that this non-confidence, coupled with the restrictions gave man and women both a helpless feeling. Where if a wrong was done to them, the person might get caught, might not, but even if they did, thy would serve a few years or months in jail, then be out to do it again.
These all added together create a fear. A rational fear but an unresolved fear as well. That leads to irrational thoughts and feelings. A cat bumps a window climbing on the window sill, and it’s someone there to break in.
Crime isn’t punished to the extent it needs to be to stop recurrence. When a man feels a need to protect his family, but has to delegate that protection to another, in his heart, he loses a large piece of who he is, he is delegating the responsibility to his family to a total stranger. That creates a detachment from his responsibilities, and will bleed over into other things. But it also creates a worry that his family will not be protected, that worry can and usually does at some point, lead to fear.
Many women still look to the men around them to provide protection. I have seen women deny this, but then shortly after do that very thing. I see nothing wrong with it, as long as it doesn’t become a crutch, or something that gives away their freedom or strength.
Being raised in a Christian environment, I was taught to fear creator, the love of creator was taught, but it was done so in a way that suggested the love was conditional. It was also taught that causing fear was a good thing. Putting the fear of god into someone is a good example of this.
Using fear to get anything done among your community is no way to go about things. If someone comes to hurt someone and you need to protect your own, I think making them fear would be applicable. Our old ways used extreme punishments according to this society. But they worked. Apparently the laws now aren’t working, as anyone can see.